We have a love/hate relationship with health. We desperately want it – great looking bodies, eat whatever we want, never get sick, never have to see a doctor or go to the hospital, and of course, live forever disease-free.
But we hate being told we have to do anything to be healthy. We hate having to watch what we eat and watch our weight. We hate (or resist) having to exercise, and we hate that we should, heaven forbid, have to learn anything about how to be healthy or put forth any effort to achieve it. Let’s face it – we feel entitled to be healthy – it’s our birthright. Here’s 5 Tips to have it your way!
5 Tips To Never Have Great Health
1. Always Trust Your Doctor- Never give it a second thought that he knows very little about what causes disease or how to prevent them. Never figure out that he treats your symptoms, and puts band-aids on them, so they kind of disappear, or he masks them with drugs that in many cases, are worse for you than the condition you have. And never, ever, figure out that he is part of one of the biggest money-machines in history – ka-ching for him!
2. Always Believe If It’s Made To Be Eaten, It’s Good For You. Believe that as long as you eat until you are over-full, it doesn’t make much difference what it is. Believe that your body can become super healthy on Twinkies and Cheetos, Gummy Worms and M & M’s, greasy hamburgers and steaks, deep fried everything, anything super-sized, and anything covered with sugar, dipped in sugar, or filled with sugar.
3. Always Remember to eat from The Four Major Food Groups. For one celebrity they were a pound of Bacon, a loaf of French Bread, Peanut Butter and Banana, and he made them into the Great Jumpsuit-Expanding Elvis Sandwich. For some people they are Sweet, Salty, Fried, and Au Gratin. For others it’s Lattes, Chocolate, Ice Cream, and Croissants. What are yours? Any four food groups will do – don’t be bashful.
4. Never Ever Invest Any Time Learning About What Foods Do To Your Body. Remember, cars run just as well on kerosene, 10-40, or diesel in the gas tank, just like our bodies run just as well on empty calories, Big Macs, and Rock-Star drinks. Just pour it in, and punch the gas pedal. And now, the last tip for never getting great health (thankfully),
5. You Can Make Up For A Lifetime Of Crappy Health In Your Last Six Months. Some people invest more time planning their vacations than they do their life. Let’s join that club! If anything is not important, it’s certainly not our health. So, eat, drink, and be merry – and paying the piper be damned. He can pay for his own chemotherapy or triple bypass, or whatever else he wants